The Mayo Clinic describes vaginismus in the following description.[1]

These involuntary spasms of the muscles of the vaginal wall can make penetration painful.

The Cleveland Clinic’s definition of vaginismus is as follows[2]

Vaginismus is an involuntary tensing of the vagina. People experience it at the start of sex, while inserting a tampon, or while getting a pelvic exam. Vaginismus can make intercourse painful (dyspareunia).

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines vaginismus in the following way.[3]

A painful spasmodic contraction of the vagina.

While the various sources describe vaginismus slightly differently, the summary is the same.

Involuntary muscle contractions in the vagina, which cause pain with insertion.

The clinical definition describes the physical nature of vaginismus. However, it does not provide a complete picture of the disorder concerning the toll it takes on one who has vaginismus emotionally, spiritually, and socially. In exploring the ABCs of vaginismus, I aim to bring awareness beyond the clinical definition.

What follows is my narrative of my personal experience with vaginismus. This book is not medical advice or clinical. It is only a narrative of my journey. In fact, I have a doctorate in educational leadership, but I intentionally chose not to use the title of Dr. when printing my authorship because I want to be clear that this is not a research-based book.

Although I have heard many women experience similar “parts of the alphabet,” the intention of this book is not to overgeneralize this is everyone’s experience with vaginismus. This story is simply my journey alone— the good, the bad, and the ugly. You will read throughout this story that my feelings regarding walking through this journey of vaginismus change frequently. I have learned I can be sad, frustrated, in love, and thankful, all separately during different seasons and together. I hope this is interpreted as the rawness of my journey and not as contradictory.

The purpose of sharing this story is to bring awareness to an unfamiliar subject to many, and encourage women who are wrestling with the challenge of vaginismus that they are not alone. For some, this story can also become an entry point in discussing one’s own story with others or an opportunity for a spouse to understand better what their wife may be struggling with. It may also answer some lingering questions for women searching for more information on a topic with little information available.

My prayer for you, precious reader, is that you will be as encouraged to spur on this challenging journey as I was to write about such a personal topic. May the peace of God rule in your heart as you persevere, and may you experience emotional and spiritual healing when relating to these shared experiences. A diagnosis, even a hurtful one as vaginismus, does not prevent us from being made in the image of our perfect Father who loves and cares for us throughout all the stories of the alphabet.

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[1] Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. (2024, February 16). Painful intercourse (dyspareunia). Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/painful-intercourse/symptoms-causes/syc-20375967

[2] Vaginismus: Dyspareunia, causes, symptoms, treatment. Cleveland Clinic. (2024, May 17). https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15723-vaginismus

[3] Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Vaginismus definition & meaning. Merriam-Webster. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vaginismus#:~:text=vag%C2%B7%E2%80%8Bi%C2%B7%E2%80%8Bnis,spasmodic%20contraction%20of%20the%20vagina